there is subterranean strength in your body and volcanic energy in your mind–this is a seismic cosmic moment when everything that happens is a sacred sign…we craft an epitaph for this system etched in rage, blood, and pride–i give in to my higher power and seek a creative serenity deep […]
bipolar solidarity
59 posts
I am proud of how i show up for life on the manic depressive spectrum–i am proud of my creativity and empathy, and of my spiritual insights and practice…i resist the dogma that calls all of this a disorder, because when balanced, my neurodivergent mind is opened to inspiration that […]
i am only forty-one, but addiction has been a cunning enemy of my life for at least three decades…at first compulsive sexual stimulation and fantasy–but also a foundational addiction to the power of intellect and self will…while my head branded me an atheist, my heart and soul kept me connected […]
Our vibe is subtle, electric, and wild Your warmth is deeply attractive and your charms make me smile You are an ancient people’s warrior king and a cybernetic genius’ child We are bonded by the related demons that teem within our minds We have shared common struggles and bared vulnerable […]
you see us dance among you, but fail to sense our jedi powers in emergence—we conjure rites of love and liberation aspiring towards an all encompassing transformational resurgence…we sync our bypo minds through the meditative practices of erotic pleasure and service–I can’t choose my apocalypse squad but i can recruit […]
alone with my emotions, i am wracked by malaise—i contend with my demons clothed in varied shades of grey…i summon my defenses from near and far away–i imagine a present moment where i don’t yearn for what i crave…after two years living on dopamine, i am due for a course […]
lost in the grip of neurochemical riptides, i grope for an anchor or for a potent dose of dopamine—age old addictions resurge like pathologies ravaging interpersonal trust so viscerally and so suddenly…i have sown the seeds of a pernicious strand of sex addiction amplified by the allure of substances both […]
hypnotic, erotic, and intensely and viscerally exotic we weave our way through this matrix evolving towards the supersonic deeply inspired by potent and ancient pagan poetry we meditate to rebalance and hone jedi powers when we breathe we invent our own religion forged of the spiritual and the carnal we […]
like angels, we seek signs of evolving life at the end of the dank, dark, and isolating depressive tunnel like aztec warriors, monster queer muslim and sephardic cylon buddhas resist the proto-fascist cop-enforced kettle we seek solidarity and transcendent love: our sharpest tools in the quest to conquer our past […]
hospitalized for the umpteenth time–i medicate my mind while i relax and unwind…confined in these walls–in the georgetown psych ward…visited by karmic angels i have loved and adored…fire is a force: a living act of entropy–fueled by wax and oxygen–or by proto-manic gasoline…within these walls so much healing takes place…psychic […]
we walk amongst you incognito-our powers waiting to be discovered…we are evolving jedis in vitro—conjuring the ammunition we need to be heard…we are a neurodivergent army—subterraneanly wired to rise up…our cylon minds harmonize like a symphony—building a crescendo that your mind can fire up…our rebel tribe insists than another world […]
carnal heat and tindered flame fill the air and call my name…agents of karma take the stage–anarchists evolving prefigurative ways…love and rage fuse in a digital array–a double helix carrying our mutant dna…crafting a path towards this system’s doomsday–finding a path out of this sociopathic ideological maze… recruiting fresh disciples […]
they walk among us disrobed and disguised—i seek fulfillment and connection when i stare into their eyes…seductive but liminal—both here and away…we fuck through the night and we do lines to welcome the day…i pray for my angels—i pray for my mind…our lust is a cradle in which our souls […]
our minds teem with divine and sentient seeds—roving connecting bringing consciousness into being…psychiatry forces neurodiversity into boxes–consumed with pathologization and discredited logic…discreet diagnoses overlap and interbreed creating a world full of NEOs–we resist neoliberal hegemony and imagine new ways of sensing cosmic signals… psychosocial distress is a symptom of our […]
enraptured by this moment i see energy everywhere–hieroglyphics coat the sidewalk and magical pixies dance with your hair…emotional release and mutual aid are our most potent medications–we need to heal our hearts and feed our souls reinventing this toxic nation…legions of sisters are coming forward exposing the human toll of […]
breathing deep i feel my power—sensing my synapses hour by hour…in this euphoric place i see so much—the porous boundaries between love, lust, and trust…. manic zen is the name i have crafted for this state—i feel energy in every neuron that animates by brain…i focus the exponential energy flying […]
its been more than three years since i jumped off key bridge—almost ending a life that at the time felt so tortured…never consciously suicidal i was caught in a visceral panic attack following a dream that felt like a premonition of a torturous shift at the georgetown establishment known as […]
so intoxicating—the pulsating aroma of erotic masculinity…so consuming—the unquenchable thirst for carnal company…manic zen is my home in these hours—i feel crescendos of ecstasy and sensual power…i long for nothing more potent than to share this energy with another…in this space on my spectrum i seek lovers and karmic brothers…bodies […]
flying high on dopamine i see visions in the sky…hieroglyphics everywhere seducing my mind late at night…when i close my eyes i see wormholes to distant galaxies…we must resist the pathologization of our tribe’s neurodiversity…i dream in staccato rhythms–refueling energy for the day ahead…i am wired in deep meditation–or feining […]
it is late and i am wired…the sky seems to boil with light and energy…clouds morphing from shape to shape—seemingly instantaneously…this condition of mine can be so elemental—tidal waves of potent shifting moods commandeering my mind…sun-moon-stars-storms—all demanding introspection and proffering insight…i know i need stability-but so desperately crave the manic […]
alcohol and adderall—lines of coke fueling pychotic breaks…sex with meth and sex on speed—giving less than i fight to take…my bloodstream is soaked in chemicals—prescribed and otherwise…the neurons in my brain love to play–psychic synapses open fire…the allure of self-medication is potent and profound—its so easy to lose sight of […]
the light of distant stars refracts through our atmosphere crafting a tapestry ripe for exploration by our evolving imagination…clouds morph and transform–becoming new things and then disintegrating as quickly as they first cohered…we remember our stories and our pasts but so often lose the moments…if i could only film all […]
it is excruciatingly late and i am wired…thoughts flowing fast like the currents of the nile pondering the mysteries of consciousness–examining the porous boundary between genius and psychosis this is not entirely new territory ever since my first mania i have wondered what to make of all these intense and […]
my eyes were first met by visions when i was 25…psychic angels connecting smoke and light–earth, body, and sky…floridly manic i flew through central park imagining myself as a primal hunter gatherer…i felt time slow then accelerate–i felt my power…i imagined a destiny beyond time–beyond the parameters of our earthly […]
Manic dreams Depressive schemes Angels come Then they leave Dopamine Nicotine Drugs I need Need to breathe Psychic screams Toxic dreams Leaving mood Ill at ease Leaving me Craving peace Wanting more Needing sleep Chemistry Never seen Moves the brain Driving deep Memory Urging me Retrogressing Psychically Emotions breathe Never […]
In the beginning was the word And the word was death Or maybe life or death to all life And ADAMA was born Toy soldier of divine clay Neither man nor woman just fine in its way ADAMA was cleaved in two by fire Lightning strike from Zeus on high […]