I want to write
We just welcomed the new year
I feel this fierce urge to write
Yet I don’t know if this is really a poem
I don’t know if I want anyone else to read it
I ponder alignment
I meditate on integrity
Noticing my tendency to conflate emotions
Illuminating my proclivity to sexualize my connections
I observe patterns
I meet someone intoxicating
I conjure fantasy
I blind myself to a multitude of possibilities
Perhaps intensely creative or sublimely Platonic
Too often misreading energetic attraction
Reflexively processing attraction as inherently erotic
But I am learning and evolving
I find that I can redirect
I notice awareness of other paths
I see beyond the superficial power of lust
Envisioning lasting relationship
Imagining the transcendent strength of chosen family
This is an awakening to deeper intentionality
I recover from hyperbolic sexual compulsion
I invest in deep relationships
Discernment and clarity are paramount
I can feel intense desire
Without racing to act on impulse
I can feel lust and envy
And simply enjoy the taste
I align my desires with my purpose
I moor my intentions to integrity
Rooting myself in accountability
Aligning intent and impact
I give myself permission to be vulnerable
To explore my psychic scars
To re-examine the allure of transient sexual validation
I think through probable consequences
Resisting the urge to risk what is
For what might come to be
I remind myself that sexual chemistry is easy to conjure
But that the potential for emotional intimacy is more rare
I refuse to vainly reconfigure my emotions
Desperately seeking erotic ecstasy
Or maybe the thin veneer of sexual validation
This is a poem about recovery
And it I now feel that it wants to be heard
These are verses of attunement to my higher power
Prayers for grounding and direction by sacred spirit
Sex can be both visceral and sacred
Our channeling of erotic energy a pivotal craft
But I guard my energy for deeper connection
Releasing shadow lust
Cutting chords to past sexual obsession
Grounding in the power of the present
I become aware that we have choices
I let go of toxic fantasy
I celebrate my present
Focusing on our quest for collective liberation
I emerge into spiritual alignment
I constrain and tame the urge to sexualize
Actualizing the full spectrum of possibility
Exploring the full power of vital human connection
Second Image by DeRon Chris
–BYPO PHOENIX c)2025
