lost in the grip of neurochemical riptides, i grope for an anchor or for a potent dose of dopamine—age old addictions resurge like pathologies ravaging interpersonal trust so viscerally and so suddenly…i have sown the seeds of a pernicious strand of sex addiction amplified by the allure of substances both dangerous and intoxicating—a postmodern skid row arises on the horizon and a deadly death wish is in the making…my exculpatory evidence seems as weak as wet tissue and the charges against me cut deep into my heart—we are reentering the garden of eden as sex-starved queers helping eve play her part…intensely manic and disinhibited crucial behavioral boundaries collapsed like sand—i have failed a community i have helped to build by giving into my libido’s demands…being black and queer i have spent little time examining my investment in systems of oppression—this past few weeks have brought reality home and taught painful and crucial lessons… rebuilding trust begins with acknowledging the operative power of systems of toxicity and making amends for the harm i have done—i must reach for higher ground and conspire for the moment when our struggles for liberation merge into one
–BYPO PHOENIX c)2018
