GRATITUDE

I am always looking for magic
seeking the dilation of time, the deepest enunciation of truth, the most exquisite attenuation of the dancer’s fierce extension

I am grateful for all of these moments
grateful for the magic of the moon and the sun
I am grateful for the serenity of silence and I anticipate the ecstatic magic yet to come

It’s easiest to feel gratitude when we are at our best and cocooned in abundance
It was much harder to appreciate life’s blessings with my arm broken by the side of the road after my bicycle and I were ambushed by a pothole

But blessed I was that it was not my head
I was blessed that there were two angels to call an ambulance
And I was luminously blessed that my parents could take me in to heal

In this moment of turmoil I am confronting my demons
I aspire to amplify my sobriety and to craft a healthy erotic practice
I am shedding many treasured relations in the wake of revelation of acute harm I have caused

But I am grateful for this opportunity to transform
and grateful, even for lost friendships
For this allows me to reallocate my energy defining a much smaller but tightly knit circle of support:
facilitating the metamorphosis of this chrysalis into a re-empowered butterfly phoenix

I am reclaiming my magic, pouring sacred fuel on my fire
I am sinking roots into gratitude
aspiring to heal the pain, anguish, and remorse lodged deep inside my spine

photo by Conrado Castro Muluc >> @conradomuluc on IG

–BYPO PHOENIX c)2020