SOLSTICE HONESTY: a bypo journal

I come to the deep blue black of my river

I come to take my inventory

To get honest

To get radically honest


It is the night of the summer solstice

I feel called to illuminate my inner world

Called to reflect our sun’s infinite light

I shine this light on the emotions I wish myself rid of

I shine it on guilt and remorse—shame and blame


Rigorous radical honesty is work

But it is also powerful and liberating

I continually catch my addict brain trying to prevaricate

Trying to omit vital information

Trying to exaggerate

Concocting narratives polluted by mendacity


I am at a crossroads

I am applying for a professional license

I have had to disclose much of the wreckage of my past


The disease of addiction held me captive for most of twenty years

Years littered with arrests, drug testing, and serious ethical transgression


I have done my part in this process

I am now powerless

I turn my fate over to my higher power


I pray for deeply rooted gratitude for the blessings in my life

For my family’s unrelenting support

For humility and vulnerability

For the open-mindedness required to remain teachable

And for my beautiful tribe of recovering addicts


This is my solstice prayer

I pray for the insight to deepen my level of honesty

With others and with myself


Radical honesty is potent synergy

Amplifying our capacity to withstand apocalypse

Our capacity to create a radiant and sustainable new world




Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.