HOMAGE

We are raised to venerate family

It is said that we are equally related within our nuclear families

Equally related to our parents and to our siblings

 

Genetically this is true

But energetically and spiritually

I know there is no one closer to me than my brother

 

By a bit less than four years

I am older

He grew up adoring me

Looking up to me

 

And then my life became a maelstrom

A frenzy of persistent psychosis

Erratic judgment

And ruthless addiction

 

We call each other cheese

And he never gave up on me

He always stood by me

My brother was a rock amidst a sea storm

A hurricane of insanity and unmanageability

 

Now that I have healed and grown

We are closer than ever

He gave me a sister by marriage

Who loves me fiercely

 

They made me an uncle

Giving me the world’s best job

And I am so profoundly grateful

 

They gave me spiritual sustenance

Perhaps the most precious gift of recovery

When they want to go out

They sometimes trust me to watch the kids

And put them to bed

 

I was never trusted with our family’s next generation

Amidst the vagaries of my behavior

Ruled chaotically by psychosis and addiction

 

This is written on my brother’s birthday

The sun is in Cancer

A water sign like my own

 

I thrive in this nourishing river

Currents of my brother’s friendship and love

I just wanted to write something to mark this day

I love you cheese

This poem is my homage

 

You challenge me

You help me grow

Now I look up to you

With a maturity of emotion

Born through trials and tribulations

 

I celebrate all that you are

All that you mean to me

You are a blessing to our family

Your strength and compassion miraculous

 

This is an homage to life and love

An homage to grace and style

An homage to the consistency of your spirit

To one of the most important pillars in my life of creation and joy

–BYPO PHOENIX c)2023