HOMAGE

We are raised to venerate family
It is said that we are equally related within our nuclear families
Equally related to our parents and to our siblings

Genetically this is true
But energetically and spiritually
I know there is no one closer to me than my brother

By a bit less than four years
I am older
He grew up adoring me
Looking up to me

And then my life became a maelstrom
A frenzy of persistent psychosis
Erratic judgment
And ruthless addiction

We call each other cheese
And he never gave up on me
He always stood by me
My brother was a rock amidst a sea storm
A hurricane of insanity and unmanageability

Now that I have healed and grown
We are closer than ever
He gave me a sister by marriage
Who loves me fiercely

They made me an uncle
Giving me the world’s best job
And I am so profoundly grateful

They gave me spiritual sustenance
Perhaps the most precious gift of recovery
When they want to go out
They sometimes trust me to watch the kids
And put them to bed

I was never trusted with our family’s next generation
Amidst the vagaries of my behavior
Ruled chaotically by psychosis and addiction

This is written on my brother’s birthday
The sun is in Cancer
A water sign like my own

I thrive in this nourishing river
Currents of my brother’s friendship and love
I just wanted to write something to mark this day
I love you cheese
This poem is my homage

You challenge me
You help me grow
Now I look up to you
With a maturity of emotion
Born through trials and tribulations

I celebrate all that you are
All that you mean to me
You are a blessing to our family
Your strength and compassion miraculous

This is an homage to life and love
An homage to grace and style
An homage to the consistency of your spirit
To one of the most important pillars in my life of creation and joy

–BYPO PHOENIX c)2023