addiction

33 posts

NEXT LEVEL GRATITUDE

Until we need it mostWe often do not know how blessed we are I could easily have been killed on January 2, 2025Four young men demanded my winter coat I refusedThey pummelled my head relentlesslyI felt teeth crack I relentedGiving them my Moose Knuckle parkaThey took my coat and bagDriving […]

TATTOOED QUEER

    This is a poemAbout an enigmaA mystery tattooed in blood You are goneYou can no longer speak your truthLeaving us with so much mystery We have a limited public recordMuch of it silent about your sexuality The evidence that you were queerConfined to a brief isolated tweet In […]

ALCHEMY OF ART AND PAIN

  These tears we let flowThrough art we createFeeling painful emotionsThat we no longer sedate Loving to numbGetting high was our thingWe chased euphoriaNow we live to stay clean Enchained by addictionWe fled our insecuritiesGripped by toxic shameWe escaped psycho-chemically Now we survive our feelingsOur emotions are psychic fuelAlchemized by […]

MORE THAN A SPONSOR

  You’re not just my sponsorOr my personal mentorA trifecta of different rolesDiverse to your very core Beholder of virtuous wisdomYou feed my psycheEmbracing neurodiversityTransforming a better me You’ve redefined masculinityTo let the tears flowWhile embracing femininityLetting all shame go The flaws we shareLike the drugs we craveOur pain untetheredThrough […]

MANIC DEMONS

  These highs like cocaine I reject emotional painMy brain got that fix Appearance flaunted in vain Reckless impulsivity Believing myself a higher being Careless of my words Leaving wounds of hurt feelings  A vacuum for human energy Festering hysterical powerOverwhelming irritability My paranoia grows louder  Delusions fill my head As this world slows around meVoices deranged With evil […]

CHRYSALIS

  This is a poem about maniaThe pain of changeThe agony of the caterpillarDissolving to become a butterfly This chrysalis of transformationA fulcrum of microcosmic evolution Evolving from painA butterfly emerges from flamesIn fear of the futureBut with a visceral and potent thirst Commanding and demanding change Migrating to pollinate and […]

ANGEL PHOENIX PROPHECY: chronicles of new york

  Words fail to describeThis manic energy we feelStepping off of that busEnraptured by the gravity of Gotham This is New York CityA mania-inducing metropolisIts rhythm potent and virileIts demons ghostly and feral This feeling ecstatic and restlessThis fervent euphoric dysturbiaI feel powerless to tame this energyBurning with carnal cosmic […]

KALEIDOSCOPE EYES

Your manic eyesOur manic mindsEvolving geniusPsychotic disguise We throb and danceRhythm deep withinThese sparks againArising for the win Inspiring insightManifesting foresightTectonic alchemyCreating spiritual reality Your eyes are magicYour kaleidoscope of colorReflecting intensityConjuring prophecy and destiny I love you like no otherMy protege and spirit brotherWe are architects of a new […]

MANIC ORACLE

  Tonight I seek guidanceI yearn to knowTo see where I endTo know where you begin I strive to guide youNavigating manic wavesI seek our emergent oracleSacred wisdomAmidst this psychic storm You are my manic angelMy creative protegeMy spirit brotherMy beloved friend Your genius evolvingYour energy manifesting prophecyA prism of […]

DISSECTING REJECTION

  I am a lonely soulHeartbeat slow and coldIn my rejection I am aloneToxic fear holds the throne We write by this fireSpirit dissatisfied and wearyFear is dualityBoth captor and protector I fear my desiresAshamed of this lustMy passion is torturedDreams become dust This part that keeps us safeAlso keeps […]

SACRED LINEAGE

You are my protegeMy sponsee and my friendAbsorbing your magnetic chemistryI feel fierce pride We are a zeitgeistEvolving a lineageCrafting sacred loreConspiring to amplify joy We decolonize psychiatryFusing divergent traditionsMerging shamanic wisdomWith psychotropic precision We balance one anotherStabilizing our ships through stormHitting the club floorOur energy pulsatingReverberating in this kaleidoscope […]

JOY EXTINGUISHED: eulogy for Gus

Your voice propheticYour spirit magneticGoth boy fireYour energy electric I look you in your eyesLike I know your painToxins flood your veinsSongs of guilt and shame Trying not to cry too loudWeeping in silenceSearing pain in your gutWords to speak like violence Cocaine lined upHiding deadly secretsLonging to be heardYearning […]

WEAPON OF LIBERATION

You were in the world but not of itYou told of awful thingsYou created from a cradle of painA dad sized cavity in your spirit What if I could have been your friend?Helping you set boundariesCould you have escaped tragedyThe scourge of fentanylClaiming your life You saw the toxicity of […]

RESURRECTION: a bypo journal

  I am hereI should have died I jumped from Key BridgePlummeting into the Potomac RiverThere was ice in the water I should have diedBut I am here I remember jumpingI remember a torrid confluence of emotion Misery, desperation, disconnection Then I remember salvationA man pulled me from the waterAn ambulance […]

DISCO NOBILITY

We floss and flexWe rise and grindReinventing timeRealigning our minds We share the work of recoveryI feel this fierce prideLoving you like familyOur connection a sacred fire We are disco nobilityEmpowered by virilityDancing with destinyEmbodying artistry Armed with fur and vinylMy pulse acceleratesDressed to killWhat we imagine is real You […]

SHAMANIC

In this spaceOn this landEnergy flows through meMagic transpires I write in the dark of nightAmidst the rhythms of rainShamanic power conjures the elementsPulsating with the vitality of lifeNurturing an inferno of resilience within The omnisexual erotic unfoldsBodies touch and explodeSensual synergy fuels our spiritsThese sacred truths are all we […]

DREAMER BOY

, When I see youI see nascent joyChained by webs of self-deception When I hear your voiceSometimes I hear honesty and vulnerabilitySometimes evasion and rationalization I feel your potentialI feel your inner struggleI feel you torn in many directionsOscillating between spiritual growth and addiction We write by our riversThey reconnect […]

RECOVERY PIMPS

We move with epic styleVersace shades beguileWe seek transcendent freedomFreedom from shame and denial I strive to light your wayA path from drugs we craveWe name the roots of painNurturing a sacred flame We strut and flaunt our furRebranding this holy wordRecovery transforms our worldA flag of hope and pride […]

HOMAGE

We are raised to venerate familyIt is said that we are equally related within our nuclear familiesEqually related to our parents and to our siblings Genetically this is trueBut energetically and spirituallyI know there is no one closer to me than my brother By a bit less than four yearsI […]

WATER KING

I am ensconced in recoveryEmblazoned by surrenderRewired by these watersRivers of transformation flowing together I am the water kingAn aquatic tantric magicianI resurrect ancient prophecyI create my own religion My throne is luminousMy kingdom egalitarianNeurodivergence fuels our purposeWaters of recovery evoke equilibrium Tides of connection surge insideThe river of recovery […]

GOTHIC ANGEL

Eyes wide openEyes wide shutYou look deep withinExtending your trust Opening my mind to new cultureTo the zeitgeist of the momentGrounding me in the presentRooted in the path we have chosen I call you gothic angelYou are a protege of prophecyYou churn in potent watersRadiating cosmic chemistry I want to […]

ECSTATIC JOY

    I feel joyEcstatic joyConnection with these beingsConnection with deep waters of transformation Godlings of rain bless this space todayThe land inundatedWater finding the path of least resistanceFlowing serpentine Abram’s Creek a delugePregnant with energy and healingConnecting us with our spirit bodies Our energy flows with the creekFluid lines […]

LIBATIONS FOR AN ADDICT

This is raw emotionBarely processed reflexive emotionFeelings swimming amidst violent cliffsLurching in divergent directionsSeeking cathartic expressionSeeking connection We loved youWe loved you fiercelyIf only you could have felt the joy of youThe humility and vulnerabilityThe visceral presence of connection Ultimately there is no logicWe cannot know your final feelingsWe cannot […]

WATERS OF RECOVERY

I made this pilgrimageI came to the sea seeking recoveryTo this convening of addictsTrying to change our patternsTrying to recover It is only AprilThe ocean is still coldBut I walked into her arms three times yesterday I waded in with the dawnWatching the sun rise through the lens of a […]

PROPHET OF YEARNING

You were a sacrificeAn offering from the sacredA voice for a generationProphet of liberationProphet of yearning I ride by this riverFeeling subterranean vibrationsThis water helps my spirit cryRiver tears of absolution and restitution Black shadow resonatesOn the surface of sacred waterGlistening like onyxA dark mirror for your storyReflecting the toxicity […]

PROTEGES of PROPHECY

  Blue light ricochets through waterCoursing like seismic electricityInvoking cosmic destinyMolding a conjecture with prophecyThis visceral manifestation of what I feel for you You are my sponseeMy karmic protegesConjuring inner magicReverberating like kinetic staticThrough these waters of synergy I believe in our programThis journey of recoveryA migration towards spiritual discoveryFluid […]