4:00 AM JOLTED FROM SLEEP… I AWOKE HAUNTED BY A NIGHTMARE … UNABLE TO GO BACK TO BED I LAY STARTLED BY CREEPING PSYCHOSIS … I MADE THE JOURNEY TO GEORGETOWN… FINDING KAFE LEOPOLD BUSTLING AS ALWAYS I TRIED TO PLAY MY ROLE AS A SERVER… BEGGING THE GODS OF […]
mental health
176 posts
gasoline-fueled flames flicker like fragments deified cross burning embers petrified of trump’s kingdom come a blaze of glory implodes in the alley gasoline fire no fucking joke smothered with mulch and antifreeze still sirens scream in to quell the conflagration strike one came when i heard a voice in my […]
Overcome with gratitude I write and ponder the many blessings of madness Stuck on this ward marooned with pirates, explorers, and uncut genius I am rooted in the moments and little things that heal All praise the healing hands of anti-psychosis Armies of karma arise in cosmic unity Brewing vats […]
CEREBRAL DRUG OF CHOICE IT FLOODS, ENGULFS, AND REMOLDS TAMING ALL CALMING INFLUENCES DOPAMINE FLASHING WITH COSMIC FATALITY SENDS SIGNALS THROUGHOUT THE BRAIN AND BODY THAT MORE IS NEVER ENOUGH NEVER ENOUGH LIKE HERCULES WRESTLING WITH SEVEN HYDRAS DOPAMINE OVERPOWERS AND IN TRIUMPH SENDS NUCLEAR TREMORS ALONG FRAGILE COASTLINES DOPAMINE […]
PASSIONS INFLAMED-I WRITHE IN BED UNABLE TO SLEEP… NICOTINE CRAVINGS BOTH URGENT AND FLEETING– YOKE THE OXEN OF HYPOMANIA TO BIG TOBACCO’S BIGGEST SCAM… ASH BECKONS-EMBERS GLOW-FLAME EXPLODES AND FLIES LIKE LIGHTNING… I CRAVE THE RELEASE THAT FIRE SEDUCES BUT KNOW MY BOUNDARIES ARE POROUS OR WORSE… TOUCHED BY FIRE […]
MOODS ARE TORTURED CRAZY BEASTS WILD UNTAMED – SO FIERCELY FREE CHURNING WORLDS ACHIEVING FEATS BUT ENSLAVED BY TIDES OF NEUROCHEMISTRY MANIC FLIGHTS – DEPRESSIVE PAIN ANXIETY HOLDS EXPRESSION IN CHAINS NARCISSISTIC OBSESSION – EMOTIONAL BORDERLINE PERSONALITY STIGMAS INSCRIBED IN TEXTS AND ON MINDS VOICES OF TRAUMA ECHO DEEP INSIDE […]
TOXIC PAIN CONSUMES THE BRAIN LOVE AND HOPE WHIPPED AND CHAINED ANGELS FAIL GOD IS DEAD SPIRITS WRITHE IN MORTAL DREAD GUILT AND SHAME RAGE AND PAIN TOXIC BREW CRIPPLED BRAIN ANCIENT RITE MODERN SCOURGE PRIMAL FLIGHT TO SATAN’S DOOR NIGHT FALLS FAST DEMONS TAKE HOLD WRISTS ARE SLASHED DEPRESSION […]
Manic dreams Depressive schemes Angels come Then they leave Dopamine Nicotine Drugs I need Need to breathe Psychic screams Toxic dreams Leaving mood Ill at ease Leaving me Craving peace Wanting more Needing sleep Chemistry Never seen Moves the brain Driving deep Memory Urging me Retrogressing Psychically Emotions breathe Never […]
Monster boy ate my heart Ate my love tore it apart Left me dancing in the dark Bathed in tears like noah’s ark Ate my heart then ate my brain Took my love and gave me pain Sucked my blood and made it rain Cold case love gone insane Te […]
solitude and loneliness make me miss raw happiness angels and demons blood spit and semen pirates and conquistadors show me what pain is for digging in but holding on trying hard but being wrong its a song not a sin lots of gin with oxygen dialectic catalytic preorgasmic analytic cold […]
In the beginning was the word And the word was death Or maybe life or death to all life And ADAMA was born Toy soldier of divine clay Neither man nor woman just fine in its way ADAMA was cleaved in two by fire Lightning strike from Zeus on high […]
i feel grey creeping in again melancholy next of kin solitude breeding sin isolation sinking in i long for something visceral to rouse my pulse and shake my skull to give me something new to say respite to pain so dull and grey the world feels bleak and devestating my […]
To write again is a struggle A struggle to give voice to months Entombed in passivity Lacerated by loneliness Bored to tears by the endless drumming rhythm Of isolation Awakened again I hear angels inside Quickening the blood Recharging adrenaline Reemerging to find friends eager to embrace A revived personality […]
Psychic pain consumes my brain Haunting caustic always the same Rhythms change but grey remains The color cloaking blood and veins Walking wounded I’m ashamed Of all the things I’ve done in vain Of all the promise laid to waste Of foolish dreams I wish erased Flying high I fell […]
Night fills my veins Brain flies rewired Bordering insane Neurons flash untired Praying for creation Hastening evolution Beseeching elation Dreaming of revolution Blood flows recharged Eyes blink unthinking Going out and going hard Frontal lobe resyncing Hypomanic flying high Dopamine on overdrive Emphatically mesmerized Painfully addicted… To being more than […]
We were adolescent friends Armed with pubescent bravado Always joking—always smiling The girls always liked you So I thought you must have been happy Years later on the platform I saw you Beautiful body teeming in prep school apparel You held my gaze a little too long But I thought […]
Some things are dangerous to remember Nights flying through streets Lights flashing—sending signals Time slowing—now racing Every corner a new portal Every cluster of people a new stage I played those nights for all they were worth Behind each tinted window I saw a thrill Those manic nights had power […]
Sometimes when I tell people they don’t get it The response is sometimes like I’ve just announced my favorite color No appreciation of the intense vagaries of mood The wild, productive, but dangerous highs And the grey paralyzing lows There is too much silence I need to break this silence […]
Some things are dangerous to remember Nights flying through streets Lights flashing—sending signals Time slowing—now racing Every corner a new portal Every cluster of people a new stage I played those nights for all they were worth Behind each tinted window I saw a thrill Those manic nights had power […]
LOVE and RAGE GUILT and SHAME make me CRY SCREAM my NAME trust is a WEAPON when LOVE is a GAME RAGE is a MONSTER too TOXIC to TAME BYPO c2010 Evolve–Or Die Trying bypo.evolve@gmail.com