depression

9 posts

JOY EXTINGUISHED: eulogy for Gus

Your voice prophetic Your spirit magnetic Goth boy fire Your energy electric   I look you in your eyes Like I know your pain Toxins flood your veins Songs of guilt and shame   Trying not to cry too loud Weeping in silence Searing pain in your gut Words to […]

RESURRECTION: a bypo journal

  I am here I should have died   I jumped from Key Bridge Plummeting into the Potomac River There was ice in the water   I should have died   I remember jumping I remember a torrid confluence of emotion  Misery, desperation, disconnection   Then I remember salvation A […]

HOMAGE

We are raised to venerate family It is said that we are equally related within our nuclear families Equally related to our parents and to our siblings   Genetically this is true But energetically and spiritually I know there is no one closer to me than my brother   By […]

LIBATIONS FOR AN ADDICT

This is raw emotion Barely processed reflexive emotion Feelings swimming amidst violent cliffs Lurching in divergent directions Seeking cathartic expression Seeking connection   We loved you We loved you fiercely If only you could have felt the joy of you The humility and vulnerability The visceral presence of connection   […]

HYDRAULIC SEX

You are thunder amidst the rain You swim in the river that keeps me sane Erotic power flows through your veins We recover from apocalypse With whatever remains   Your image evokes the carnal Licentious gym sex You pulsate with intensity You flirt and seduce–grind and flex   Deep within […]

TRUST MUSCLE: a journal entry

This is my chosen place to write—it is close to my heart: my trust muscle…I sit at the convergence of two rivers and marvel at the magic of the water’s constant motion—maybe this is a metaphor I seek energy from the intricate swirls of wood composing the wharf like so […]

KARMIC TRANSITION

i have tried to cry for days, just feeling that grief is the right feeling to feel–emotive songs have helped me choke up for protracted moments, but again and again the feelings pass and my mind clears…i wonder why i am not more ground down by this–why i am not […]

EROTIC AND PLATONIC

Our vibe is subtle, electric, and wild Your warmth is deeply attractive and your charms make me smile You are an ancient people’s warrior king and a cybernetic genius’ child We are bonded by the related demons that teem within our minds We have shared common struggles and bared vulnerable […]

AN INTRUSION OF GREY

alone with my emotions, i am wracked by malaise—i contend with my demons clothed in varied shades of grey…i summon my defenses from near and far away–i imagine a present moment where i don’t yearn for what i crave…after two years living on dopamine, i am due for a course […]