esperanza

19 posts

TRAUMA SURVIVORS ANONYMOUS: a bypo journal

I sit by the water—I came here to write….The river ebbs and flows and pulsates with energy…It reverberates with the power to sustain life and the power to take it… I came to write about my mind—to write about the social construct known as bipolar disorder…This diagnosis has been an […]

NEON HYBRID

heart-felt passion and heart-felt pain intertwine and recombine inside this dancer’s brain… inspired by love inflected by rage–we rise to shatter titanic systemic psychic chains… this is a neon hybrid: a supersonic dance floor—bridging the chasms between contending sectors of our universe… we sings songs of compassion and songs of […]

STACATTO IMAGINATION

my mind reverberates at hypomanic speed to the rhythms of the flickering flames–seven multicolored pillars of fire surround my sacred circle of evolving recovery arising untamed… this monument to the pyromanic is made of the vestiges of dozens of votives…i summon powers of magical incantation from a pantheon of sacred […]

KARMIC TRANSITION

i have tried to cry for days, just feeling that grief is the right feeling to feel–emotive songs have helped me choke up for protracted moments, but again and again the feelings pass and my mind clears…i wonder why i am not more ground down by this–why i am not […]

BECOMING JOY

the buddhist teacher tich nhat hanh taught me to see that we are like clouds–forever evolving and changing from one state to another…always becoming but never, ever, simply becoming nothing…i am filled with exuberance in this moment, witnessing the deepening roots of recovery in my life–witnessing the sacred inspiration into […]

GENESIS

  I am a student of my own evolving mind—I am a student of the ebb and flow of time…I dream of a future where all of our roots intertwine—I dream of vistas of synergy between the erotic and the sublime…this is a genesis story: a mix of the dopest […]

SUPERNATURAL MANIC MAGIC

you see us dance among you, but fail to sense our jedi powers in emergence—we conjure rites of love and liberation aspiring towards an all encompassing transformational resurgence…we sync our bypo minds through the meditative practices of erotic pleasure and service–I can’t choose my apocalypse squad but i can recruit […]

EYE and BODY

i want to shower with you–to watch warm water caressing the contours of your lithe and inviting body… i want to share moments that dream of futures–to imagine the improbable and aspire to the inspirational… i want to hold you close in heart and in soul–to let you penetrate my […]

DUALITIES

good and bad-right and wrong…ancient mores transcribed in songs…queer and straight–trans and cis…we can find common ground as we rise and resist…war and peace fused together with orwell’s flair–we are living through an age of existential mortal peril…with so much myth uproooted and so many lies exposed–the question is what […]

TAPESTRY OF PROPHECIES

nocturnal visions and prophecies suffuse our world and let her breathe…craving love and refusing sleep—crafting verses driving deep…pentagons and hexagons—trapezoids and octagons…geometry voiced by our freedom songs—doing right and righting wrongs… we weave the tapestry of a new religion from disparate threads of divergent spiritual traditions…grounding our energy through meditation—seeking […]

ANATOMY OF A FIRE

carnal heat and tindered flame fill the air and call my name…agents of karma take the stage–anarchists evolving prefigurative ways…love and rage fuse in a digital array–a double helix carrying our mutant dna…crafting a path towards this system’s doomsday–finding a path out of this sociopathic ideological maze… recruiting fresh disciples […]

A SURVIVOR’S MANIFESTO

its been more than three years since i jumped off key bridge—almost ending a life that at the time felt so tortured…never consciously suicidal i was caught in a visceral panic attack following a dream that felt like a premonition of a torturous shift at the georgetown establishment known as […]

RADICAL EXORCISM

praying for love and praying for peace—praising the sun and craving relief…we have miscreants in power—sowing seeds of social death…we must resist in this crucial hour—fighting with every sinew and every breath…its time to exorcise the demons of white supremacy…time to heal the historic wounds of genocide and slavery…the patriarchal […]

GENERATIONS

we live and we love–we laugh and we cry-we seek angels from above-we evolve til we die we dream of a future free from oppression–liberated at last  from toxic lies and obsessions each generation meets new tasks–cyber wired nowadays it seems impossible in this moment to anticipate our children’s fate […]

INTROSPECTION

my eyes were first met by visions when i was 25…psychic angels connecting smoke and light–earth, body, and sky…floridly manic i flew through central park imagining myself as a primal hunter gatherer…i felt time slow then accelerate–i felt my power…i imagined a destiny beyond time–beyond the parameters of our earthly […]

AGENTS OF KARMA

In the beginning was the word And the word was death Or maybe life or death to all life And ADAMA was born Toy soldier of divine clay Neither man nor woman just fine in its way ADAMA was cleaved in two by fire Lightning strike from Zeus on high […]

LAS RAICES DE LA ESPERANZA

queremos la justicia no la poli-migra gritamos si se puede dicen no se pudo nuestras historias son nuestras victorias el poder de l’amor es mas que lo de odio queremos la justicia nos dan arizona queremos la reforma justa y humana su idea de reforma se abusa la idioma raices […]

MEXICO CITY

A sea of humanity Taquerias and street food Dance with la zona rosa Cheap drinks, clubs, and dates Nights in the Roma Section That balcony where I smoked So many cheap Camels Mezcal and tequila energizing and enervating Plazas full of beauty and poverty People in rags begging for my […]

FIRE

Treading on the edge Going up for months Without really going down Wide awake at 5 am Contemplating bold moves Subtle disquiet Longing and loneliness I am testing my chemistry Addicted to dopamine And cigarettes I hope this is honest Truly capturing The peril and pleasure Of angels on the […]