hospitalized for the umpteenth time–i medicate my mind while i relax and unwind confined in these walls–in the georgetown psych ward visited by karmic angels i have loved and adored fire is a force: a living act of entropy–fueled by wax and oxygen–or by proto-manic gasoline within these walls so […]
bipolar solidarity
76 posts
we walk amongst you incognito our powers waiting to be discovered we are evolving jedis in vitro conjuring the ammunition we need to be heard we are a neurodivergent army subterraneanly wired to rise up our cylon minds harmonize like a symphony— a crescendo that your mind can fire up […]
carnal heat and tindered flame fill the air and call my name agents of karma take the stage anarchists evolving prefigurative ways love and rage fuse in a digital array a double helix carries our mutant dna crafting a path towards this system’s doomsday finding a path out of this […]
they walk among us disrobed and disguised i seek fulfillment and connection when i stare into their eyes seductive but liminal—both here and away we fuck through the night and we do lines to welcome the day i pray for my angels—i pray for my mind our lust is a […]
our minds teem with divine and sentient seeds roving connecting bringing consciousness into being psychiatry forces neurodiversity into boxes consumed with pathologization and discredited logic discreet diagnoses overlap and interbreed creating a world full of NEOs we resist neoliberal hegemony and imagine new ways of sensing cosmic signals psychosocial distress […]
enraptured by this moment i see energy everywhere hieroglyphics coat the sidewalk and magical pixies dance with your hair emotional release and mutual aid are our most potent medications we need to heal our hearts and feed our souls reinventing this toxic nation legions of sisters are coming forward exposing […]
breathing deep i feel my power—sensing my synapses hour by hour in this euphoric place i see so much—the porous boundaries between love, lust, and trust manic zen is the name i have crafted for this state—i feel energy in every neuron that animates by brain i focus the exponential […]
its been more than three years since i jumped off key bridge almost ending a life that at the time felt so tortured never consciously suicidal i was caught in a visceral panic attack following a dream that felt like a premonition of a torturous shift at the georgetown establishment […]
so intoxicating—the pulsating aroma of erotic masculinity so consuming—the unquenchable thirst for carnal company manic zen is my home in these hours i feel crescendos of ecstasy and sensual power i long for nothing more potent than to share this energy with another in this space on my spectrum i […]
flying high on dopamine i see visions in the sky hieroglyphics everywhere seducing my mind late at night when i close my eyes i see wormholes to distant galaxies we must resist the pathologization of our tribe’s neurodiversity i dream in staccato rhythms–refueling energy for the day ahead i am […]
it is late and i am wired he sky seems to boil with light and energy clouds morphing from shape to shape seemingly instantaneously this condition of mine can be so elemental tidal waves of potent shifting moods commandeering my mind sun-moon-stars-storms all demanding introspection and proffering insight i know […]
alcohol and adderall—lines of coke fueling pychotic breaks sex with meth and sex on speed—giving less than i fight to take my bloodstream is soaked in chemicals—prescribed and otherwise the neurons in my brain love to play–psychic synapses open fire the allure of self-medication is potent and profound its so […]
the light of distant stars refracts through our atmosphere crafting a tapestry ripe for exploration by our evolving imagination clouds morph and transform becoming new things and then disintegrating as quickly as they first cohered we remember our stories and our pasts but so often lose the moments if i […]
it is excruciatingly late and i am wired…thoughts flowing fast like the currents of the nile pondering the mysteries of consciousness–examining the porous boundary between genius and psychosis this is not entirely new territory ever since my first mania i have wondered what to make of all these intense and […]
my eyes were first met by visions when i was 25 psychic angels connecting smoke and light–earth, body, and sky floridly manic i flew through central park imagining myself as a primal hunter gatherer felt time slow then accelerate i felt my power i imagined a destiny beyond time beyond […]
Manic dreams Depressive schemes Angels come Then they leave Dopamine Nicotine Drugs I need Need to breathe Psychic screams Toxic dreams Leaving mood Ill at ease Leaving me Craving peace Wanting more Needing sleep Chemistry Never seen Moves the brain Driving deep Memory Urging me Retrogressing Psychically Emotions breathe Never […]
In the beginning was the word And the word was death Or maybe life or death to all life And ADAMA was born Toy soldier of divine clay Neither man nor woman just fine in its way ADAMA was cleaved in two by fire Lightning strike from Zeus on high […]
Psychic pain consumes my brain Haunting caustic always the same Rhythms change but grey remains The color cloaking blood and veins Walking wounded I’m ashamed Of all the things I’ve done in vain Of all the promise laid to waste Of foolish dreams I wish erased Flying high I fell […]
Night fills my veins Brain flies rewired Bordering insane Neurons flash untired Praying for creation Hastening evolution Beseeching elation Dreaming of revolution Blood flows recharged Eyes blink unthinking Going out and going hard Frontal lobe resyncing Hypomanic flying high Dopamine on overdrive Emphatically mesmerized Painfully addicted… To being more than […]
We were adolescent friends Armed with pubescent bravado Always joking—always smiling The girls always liked you So I thought you must have been happy Years later on the platform I saw you Beautiful body teeming in prep school apparel You held my gaze a little too long But I thought […]
Some things are dangerous to remember Nights flying through streets Lights flashing—sending signals Time slowing—now racing Every corner a new portal Every cluster of people a new stage I played those nights for all they were worth Behind each tinted window I saw a thrill Those manic nights had power […]
What I want Is to hold you To feel your lips Against mine What I feel Is tortured longing Swelling beneath My tired eyes What I need Is to accept The parameters As described But what I want Is to tell you what I feel Deep inside –BYPO c)2009
Sometimes when I tell people they don’t get it The response is sometimes like I’ve just announced my favorite color No appreciation of the intense vagaries of mood The wild, productive, but dangerous highs And the grey paralyzing lows There is too much silence I need to break this silence […]
Treading on the edge Going up for months Without really going down Wide awake at 5 am Contemplating bold moves Subtle disquiet Longing and loneliness I am testing my chemistry Addicted to dopamine And cigarettes I hope this is honest Truly capturing The peril and pleasure Of angels on the […]