I made this pilgrimageI came to the sea seeking recoveryTo this convening of addictsTrying to change our patternsTrying to recover It is only AprilThe ocean is still coldBut I walked into her arms three times yesterday I waded in with the dawnWatching the sun rise through the lens of a […]
Recovery
46 posts
You were a sacrificeAn offering from the sacredA voice for a generationProphet of liberationProphet of yearning I ride by this riverFeeling subterranean vibrationsThis water helps my spirit cryRiver tears of absolution and restitution Black shadow resonatesOn the surface of sacred waterGlistening like onyxA dark mirror for your storyReflecting the toxicity […]
Blue light ricochets through waterCoursing like seismic electricityInvoking cosmic destinyMolding a conjecture with prophecyThis visceral manifestation of what I feel for you You are my sponseesMy karmic protegesConjuring inner magicReverberating like kinetic staticThrough these waters of synergy I believe in our programThis journey of recoveryA migration towards spiritual discoveryFluid […]
I see fire in this paintingStrength born from painI see resilience and perseverance I see the resurgent power of creationPower to remold fateRivers of color modulateChurning with the resilience of imagination I feel my own journey of recoveryReflected in viscous paintSo much loss and betrayalLittering my tortured way I have […]
MemoriesHaunting meLeaving meNo air to breathe DestinyMysteryHaunting meTaunting me I come to writeI come to witnessHundreds of birdsFlocking to the sunThe day has begunMind and body are one I feel deep painReverberating insideI wish I could forgetI wish I could cry Pain for love lostPainful goodbyesBrutal rejectionTorturing my eyes You […]
You are thunder amidst the rainYou swim in the river that keeps me saneErotic power flows through your veinsWe recover from apocalypseWith whatever remains Your image evokes the carnalLicentious gym sexYou pulsate with intensityYou flirt and seduce–grind and flex Deep within transformations emergeOrganic and orgasmic fluids convergeTime stands still awaiting […]
I come to the deep blue black of my riverI come to take my inventoryTo get honestTo get radically honest It is the night of the summer solsticeI feel called to illuminate my inner worldCalled to reflect our sun’s infinite lightI shine this light on the emotions I wish myself […]
I come through sandReverberating with karmic potential I come for the sunRising from beyond the ocean We are survivors of addictionA ruthless afflictionGathered to share our storiesStaying clean one day at a time Our disease is insidiousBrutal and persistent We are forever imperiledVulnerable to seductive allureThe urge to suppress challenging […]
February 26thIs just a dateA marker in timeAn outpost amidst psychic wildlings For me it is my clean dateToday—my two year anniversaryTwo years without drugs, including alcoholTwo years of recoveryTwo years of spiritual growt The valence of my mental oscillations is manageableI am more stable and connected than I have […]
I sit by the water—I came here to writeThe river ebbs and flows and pulsates with energyIt reverberates with the power to sustain life and the power to take it… I came to write about my mindto write about the social construct known as bipolar disorderThis diagnosis has been an […]
Here I am: right were I need to be… This perfect June sky approaching sunset—delicate blues and pinks dancing in the stratosphere Dancing like we danced in the streets hours ago—celebrating the growing power of the struggle for trans and queer liberation…. This is my first fully clean Pride… The […]
Snake medicine pulsates through my being, unleashing immense powers of creativitybringing psychic energy into awareness and channeling this magic towards our need for healing The kundalini power arising from the root chakra ascends through our snake-like spinal columnI envision a serpentine double-helix armoring our spines and our minds through […]
my mind reverberates at hypomanic speed to the rhythms of the flickering flames–seven multicolored pillars of fire surround my sacred circle of evolving recovery arising untamed… this monument to the pyromanic is made of the vestiges of dozens of votives…i summon powers of magical incantation from a pantheon of sacred […]
this is a poem about recoverya poem as metaphor for my journey towards synchronicity with my higher power none of us created the scaffolding of the 12-step universeno one created it because we co-created as a decentralized collective building on the insights of those who came before and we […]
light and sound become energized and fused into onewe see fractals in the moon and volcanic power in the sunpsychedelic synergy has transformed who we are and what we can becomewe project universal liberation as the cosmic project that is to be done i have learned that i do not […]
i am a vessel for sacred forces arising in a moment of unprecedented global perilwe must draw strength from our collective unconscious to resist a fascist menace that has grown ruthless, desperate, and feral i am anansi the spider weaving webs of wisdom, life, and lovei transmute psychic pain and […]
i am only forty-one, but addiction has been a cunning enemy of my life for at least three decadesat first compulsive sexual stimulation and fantasybut also a foundational addiction to the power of intellect and self will while my head branded me an atheist, my heart and soul kept me […]
i have tried to cry for days, just feeling that grief is the right feeling to feelemotive songs have helped me choke up for protracted moments, but again and again the feelings pass and my mind clearsi wonder why i am not more ground down by this–why i am not […]
in your eyes is placed a power greater than all of their hoarded goldyour eyes are wormholes to a future of humility and grace so deeply rooted that its seeds will growwe build power and resilience to feed the richness of our soulswe have so many toxic patterns and toxic […]
here i am–humbly and blissfully imperfectreckoning with harm i have caused by striving to be accountable and doing work to transform i am decentering selfdismantling the illusion of my willful power to control the world around me this is my attempt at surrenderand her matrix of liberation is opening new […]