Category: love and hate

GHOSTS: a riff on the emotional subterranean

GHOSTS: a riff on the emotional subterranean

echoes of emotion transgress my heart and mind—i feel currents of suppressed attraction in confluence deep inside….the erratic logic of passion convolutes and overflows—i struggle with conflicting desires contorting my soul…like a ghost your words still haunt me—conjuring aspirations long buried deep…visions of angels consume my whole body—hoping my confusion is something only i can …

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A SURVIVOR’S MANIFESTO

A SURVIVOR’S MANIFESTO

its been more than three years since i jumped off key bridge—almost ending a life that at the time felt so tortured…never consciously suicidal i was caught in a visceral panic attack following a dream that felt like a premonition of a torturous shift at the georgetown establishment known as kafe leopold…so i guess that …

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OF STABILIZERS AND STIMULENTS

OF STABILIZERS AND STIMULENTS

thoroughly consumed by manic zen my imagination is flying free…i pray that the lithium will do its work and keep the most perilous demons buried deep…psychopharmacology is a science but its practice is mostly an art–finding the right cocktail involves many detours and innumerable false starts…the brain and body are a dialectical whole and we …

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RITES OF FIRE: pyrotechnic meditation

RITES OF FIRE: pyrotechnic meditation

we are slaves to technology—and to the class in control…we transcribe a new pedagogy—reclaiming the creative human soul…the ancient rites of fire deserve a postmodern rebirth…fire destroys but it also gives birth…i meditate to flames fueled by wax and harder drugs—i will my mind to find peace—to look inward and live with love…the flames are …

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BLAST FEMME

BLAST FEMME

platinum-clad ladies vogue at the discotheque–leaving all the boys pining–hard-wired horned and wet…femmed-out men in full length skirts–queering power branding fame and making it work…patriarchy commodifies female sexuality–debilitating independence and profiting from sensuality…its time for our human tribe to overcome false dualities–let our trans sisters and brothers shape a nascent reality…let the blast femme spirit …

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PRIMAL SCREAM

PRIMAL SCREAM

a child star—a cosmic gift—left ensnared by celerity’s kiss…a primal scream—a scream of rage—dancing in ecstasy on the stage…brother michael gone far too soon—our world misses his passion, his genius, his croon…tortured by racism—scarred so deep…his life inspires while his body sleeps…a soul immortal—blessed with divine energy—the king of pop so infused with creativity…we live, …

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KING OF RAGE

KING OF RAGE

ANGEL OR DEMON DEVIL OR SAINT YOU TAKE WHAT YOU WANT RAGE RULES YOUR BRAIN LIKE A MONSTER YOU KILL DISMEMBERING YOUR CROWN CONSUMING YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP DESECRATING SACRED GROUND NARCISSISTIC AND HATEFUL LOST INSIDE YOUR HEAD FOREVER A VICTIM SO RARELY A FRIEND EACH TIME HOPE RETURNS YOU REMIND ME TO LEAVE RELATIONS THIS …

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A MONSTA RIFF

A MONSTA RIFF

Monster boy ate my heart Ate my love tore it apart Left me dancing in the dark Bathed in tears like noah’s ark Ate my heart then ate my brain Took my love and gave me pain Sucked my blood and made it rain Cold case love gone insane Te amo baby- is what I …

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AGENTS OF KARMA

AGENTS OF KARMA

In the beginning was the word And the word was death Or maybe life or death to all life And ADAMA was born Toy soldier of divine clay Neither man nor woman just fine in its way ADAMA was cleaved in two by fire Lightning strike from Zeus on high WO-MAN formed – CYLON hybrid …

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HOSTILITY

HOSTILITY

I imagine now That hitting something Or someone Would be an immense relief Anger courses through my mind Exploding irrationally Over perceived acts of inconsideration I imagine blood Probably my own Demanding a response I wonder if hospitalization Would bring relief Or at least concern These emotions are toxic And I wish myself rid of …

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ADDICTION

ADDICTION

Its as easy To abuse a person As to abuse a substance To become addicted To a particular prism Through which to view oneself I breathe deeply And try to let go Of the compulsion I feel To connect incessantly And learn to carve independent space For my own thoughts and feelings Breaking any habit …

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PETRIFIED

PETRIFIED

Not knowing how you are But fearing the worst I am paralyzed by ghosts of past tragedies Anger, guilt, and shame are toxic emotions Constricting breath and repelling human contact I pray to any spirit that will listen For your safety As I write I feel the threat of tears Aching for release If I …

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BECOMING PHOENIX

BECOMING PHOENIX

To write again is a struggle A struggle to give voice to months Entombed in passivity Lacerated by loneliness Bored to tears by the endless drumming rhythm Of isolation Awakened again I hear angels inside Quickening the blood Recharging adrenaline Reemerging to find friends eager to embrace A revived personality Crippled by chemistry I was …

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