mania

35 posts

NEURODIVERGENT

What if my evolving diagnosis Is so much more than pathology? What if it’s not illness? What if its capacity?   I feel these burning questions Reverberating karmically I feel the power of empathy Fractals of neurodivergent chemistry   Fierce oscillations of mood Can leave me exhausted and dry But […]

CLEAN DATE: a bypo journal

February 26th Is just a date A marker in time An outpost amidst psychic wildlings   For me it is my clean date Today—my two year anniversary Two years without drugs, including alcohol Two years of recovery Two years of spiritual growth   The valence of my mental oscillations is […]

TRAUMA SURVIVORS ANONYMOUS: a bypo journal

I sit by the water—I came here to write….The river ebbs and flows and pulsates with energy…It reverberates with the power to sustain life and the power to take it… I came to write about my mind—to write about the social construct known as bipolar disorder…This diagnosis has been an […]

TRUST MUSCLE: a journal entry

This is my chosen place to write—it is close to my heart: my trust muscle…I sit at the convergence of two rivers and marvel at the magic of the water’s constant motion—maybe this is a metaphor I seek energy from the intricate swirls of wood composing the wharf like so […]

SACRED EYE

I am evolving and deepening my awareness… With the shackles of addiction in remission I live in gratitude and in joy… I live on the manic depressive spectrum—tending towards states of hypomania and mania… Eliminating the toxicity of substances of abuse has helped me stabilize, but the powers within that […]

MAGNETIC WATER

It was my first night on the psych ward…I submerged the Bible in the toilet—imagining that I would recreate the sacred text over the course of my stay…I imagined that the water would unearth messages and channel symbols not visible to the naked eye… Floridly manic and coming down from […]

TRUTH SERUM: a journal entry

Last night, the moon communed with Jupiter—someone told me to ask for what I want because I just might get it…with synapses firing at speeds faster than light, I asked for insight and foresight—I asked for knowledge of my noble purpose… today, I had a soul to soul convergence with […]

TANTRIC UNDERGROUND

our vixens and our hustlers conjure epic supernatural sentience we deduce spiritual principles from the fulcrum of our collective experience erotic anthems seduce the mind arming us with tantric prescience erotic armadas patrol the scintillating seas of magical dialectical consciousness   we conspire and inspire to build a global tantric […]

CYBERPUNK DIASPORA

dancers stomp, twist, and writhe—giving voice to desires pent up deep inside…we long to rise as one and mobilize—our subaltern armies will rule the night… our democracy is plagued and under siege—we need cyberpunk power to keep the peace…nazis and fascists will come rolling deep—but our samurai neurodivergents have a […]

URGENCY

manic zen from deep within fusing sin with oxygen–possibilities writhe and morph revealing potent visions usually accessed psychedelically…i have seen vivid fractals unfolding before my closed eyes…i have felt tantric erotic power erupting deep inside… in this wretched moment civilization is at stake–but i am removed from the world of […]

EROTIC AND PLATONIC

Our vibe is subtle, electric, and wild Your warmth is deeply attractive and your charms make me smile You are an ancient people’s warrior king and a cybernetic genius’ child We are bonded by the related demons that teem within our minds We have shared common struggles and bared vulnerable […]

CYLON CYPHER

we write in code, with data entombed, in tunnels of platinum and tunnels of gold…my river remolds the depths of your soul, conjuring a sacred passion that grows hot and bold…this cypher we craft conjures cylon futures, where the contours of AI will meld with our nature—this arabic script describes […]

SACRED GEOMETRY: the architecture of perfection

i feel fucking perfect–animated by a precise balance between intoxication and sobriety…the sinuous sacred geometry of the immense creativity permeating this space keeps my imagination firing on all cylinders…is it emergent strategy in all its nuance and potency?  is it love and comradery and the fellowship of movement building?  i […]

SUPERNATURAL MANIC MAGIC

you see us dance among you, but fail to sense our jedi powers in emergence—we conjure rites of love and liberation aspiring towards an all encompassing transformational resurgence…we sync our bypo minds through the meditative practices of erotic pleasure and service–I can’t choose my apocalypse squad but i can recruit […]

VICES: the dialectic of pathology

lost in the grip of neurochemical riptides, i grope for an anchor or for a potent dose of dopamine—age old addictions resurge like pathologies ravaging interpersonal trust so viscerally and so suddenly…i have sown the seeds of a pernicious strand of sex addiction amplified by the allure of substances both […]

INSURRECTION: a hard house anthem of resistance

we are the ones we’ve been waiting for—we are a people becoming an army knocking on destiny’s door…we aspire to become living gods or at least to become more—we throw down to the house beat driving our armored boots into the floor…cosmology and astrology conjure reborn numerology—like a symphony and […]

PELVIC SERPENTS

hypnotic, erotic, and intensely and viscerally exotic we weave our way through this matrix evolving towards the supersonic deeply inspired by potent and ancient pagan poetry we meditate to rebalance and hone jedi powers when we breathe we invent our own religion forged of the spiritual and the carnal we […]

FINE LINES: an aspirational manifesto for mental health liberation

like angels, we seek signs of evolving life at the end of the dank, dark, and isolating depressive tunnel like aztec warriors, monster queer muslim and sephardic cylon buddhas resist the proto-fascist cop-enforced kettle we seek solidarity and transcendent love: our sharpest tools in the quest to conquer our past […]

ELUSIVE ANGELS

they walk among us disrobed and disguised—i seek fulfillment and connection when i stare into their eyes…seductive but liminal—both here and away…we fuck through the night and we do lines to welcome the day…i pray for my angels—i pray for my mind…our lust is a cradle in which our souls […]

EVOLVING DIAGNOSIS CYLON-STYLE

our minds teem with divine and sentient seeds—roving connecting bringing consciousness into being…psychiatry forces neurodiversity into boxes–consumed with pathologization and discredited logic…discreet diagnoses overlap and interbreed creating a world full of NEOs–we resist neoliberal hegemony and imagine new ways of sensing cosmic signals… psychosocial distress is a symptom of our […]

CATHARSIS

enraptured by this moment i see energy everywhere–hieroglyphics coat the sidewalk and magical pixies dance with your hair…emotional release and mutual aid are our most potent medications–we need to heal our hearts and feed our souls reinventing this toxic nation…legions of sisters are coming forward exposing the human toll of […]

BYPO EVOLVING

lights flash extending potent and penetrating rays—i contemplate the cosmos absorbed in its seductive gaze…with every passing instant i grow into this strength—i fathom the galaxy’s width, its depth, and its length…our backyard was pregnant with potent energy—temples inscribed in the earth open for only my eyes to see…soldiers marching […]

TRANSCENDENT POWER: the magical metaphysics of manic zen

breathing deep i feel my power—sensing my synapses hour by hour…in this euphoric place i see so much—the porous boundaries between love, lust, and trust…. manic zen is the name i have crafted for this state—i feel energy in every neuron that animates by brain…i focus the exponential energy flying […]

OF STABILIZERS AND STIMULENTS

thoroughly consumed by manic zen my imagination is flying free…i pray that the lithium will do its work and keep the most perilous demons buried deep…psychopharmacology is a science but its practice is mostly an art–finding the right cocktail involves many detours and innumerable false starts…the brain and body are […]

FINDING NEO: a prayer for our living gods

the night is pregnant with possibilities aroused and penetrated by my manic brain…the joy is punctuated with urgency—and i am anything but insane..we are organizing with all our strength to uproot a totalitarian regime—we are fighting to amplify our many struggles using all of our arsenal deployed by any means…my […]