Recovery

17 posts

RESILIENCE

I see fire in this painting Strength born from pain I see resilience and perseverance   I see the resurgent power of creation Power to remold fate   I feel my own journey of recovery Reflected in viscous paint So much loss and betrayal Littering my tortured way   I […]

REMIND ME TO FORGET

Memories Haunting me Leaving me No air to breathe   Destiny And mystery Haunting me Taunting me   I come to write I come to witness Hundreds of birds Flocking to the sun The day has begun Mind and body are one   I feel deep pain Reverberating inside I […]

HYDRAULIC SEX

You are thunder amidst the rain You swim in the river that keeps me sane Erotic power flows through your veins We recover from apocalypse With whatever remains   Your image evokes the carnal Licentious gym sex You pulsate with intensity You flirt and seduce–grind and flex   Deep within […]

SOLSTICE HONESTY: a bypo journal

I come to the deep blue black of my river I come to take my inventory To get honest To get radically honest   It is the night of the summer solstice I feel called to illuminate my inner world Called to reflect our sun’s infinite light I shine this […]

ADDICT POTENTIAL

I come through sand Reverberating with karmic potential   I come for the sun Rising from beyond the ocean   We are survivors of addiction A ruthless affliction Gathered to share our stories Staying clean one day at a time   Our disease is insidious Brutal and persistent   We […]

CLEAN DATE: a bypo journal

February 26th Is just a date A marker in time An outpost amidst psychic wildlings   For me it is my clean date Today—my two year anniversary Two years without drugs, including alcohol Two years of recovery Two years of spiritual growth   The valence of my mental oscillations is […]

TRAUMA SURVIVORS ANONYMOUS: a bypo journal

I sit by the water—I came here to write….The river ebbs and flows and pulsates with energy…It reverberates with the power to sustain life and the power to take it… I came to write about my mind—to write about the social construct known as bipolar disorder…This diagnosis has been an […]

THE ZEN OF RECOVERY

Here I am: right were I need to be… This perfect June sky approaching sunset—delicate blues and pinks dancing in the stratosphere Dancing like we danced in the streets hours ago—celebrating the growing power of the struggle for trans and queer liberation…. This is my first fully clean Pride… The […]

ORACLE OF THE SNAKE

  Snake medicine pulsates through my being, unleashing immense powers of creativity—bringing psychic energy into awareness and channeling this magic towards our need for healing… The kundalini power arising from the root chakra ascends through our snake-like spinal column…I envision a serpentine double-helix armoring our spines and our minds through […]

STACATTO IMAGINATION

my mind reverberates at hypomanic speed to the rhythms of the flickering flames–seven multicolored pillars of fire surround my sacred circle of evolving recovery arising untamed… this monument to the pyromanic is made of the vestiges of dozens of votives…i summon powers of magical incantation from a pantheon of sacred […]

TRUST THE PROCESS

  this is a poem about recovery–a poem as metaphor for my journey towards synchronicity with my higher power…none of us created the scaffolding of the 12-step universe–no one created it because we co-created as a decentralized collective building on the insights of those who came before…and we continually create […]

PSYCHEDELIC JESUS

light and sound become energized and fused into one–we see fractals in the moon and volcanic power in the sun…psychedelic synergy has transformed who we are and what we can become–we project universal liberation as the cosmic project that is to be done…i have learned that i do not need […]

ANANSI

i am a vessel for sacred forces arising in a moment of unprecedented global peril–we must draw strength from our collective unconscious to resist a fascist menace that has grown ruthless, desperate, and feral…i am anansi the spider weaving webs of wisdom, life, and love–i transmute psychic pain and crisis […]

CUNNING ENEMY

i am only forty-one, but addiction has been a cunning enemy of my life for at least three decades…at first compulsive sexual stimulation and fantasy–but also a foundational addiction to the power of intellect and self will…while my head branded me an atheist, my heart and soul kept me connected […]

KARMIC TRANSITION

i have tried to cry for days, just feeling that grief is the right feeling to feel–emotive songs have helped me choke up for protracted moments, but again and again the feelings pass and my mind clears…i wonder why i am not more ground down by this–why i am not […]

MORE WILL BE REVEALED

in your eyes is placed a power greater than all of their hoarded gold–your eyes are wormholes to a future of humility and grace so deeply rooted that its seeds will grow…we build power and resilience to feed the richness of our souls–we have so many toxic patterns and toxic […]

SONG OF SURRENDER

here i am–humbly and blissfully imperfect–reckoning with harm i have caused by striving to be accountable and doing work to transform…i am decentering self–dismantling the illusion of my willful power to control the world around me…this is my attempt at surrender–and her matrix of liberation is opening new vistas of […]