Category: grace and love

CUNNING ENEMY

CUNNING ENEMY

i am only forty-one, but addiction has been a cunning enemy of my life for at least three decades…at first compulsive sexual stimulation and fantasy–but also a foundational addiction to the power of intellect and self will…while my head branded me an atheist, my heart and soul kept me connected to the potent synergy of …

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KARMIC TRANSITION

KARMIC TRANSITION

i have tried to cry for days, just feeling that grief is the right feeling to feel–emotive songs have helped me choke up for protracted moments, but again and again the feelings pass and my mind clears…i wonder why i am not more ground down by this–why i am not despondent, depressed, and devoid of …

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GLOBALIZE

GLOBALIZE

before we had a globalized system, we had globalized energy:  fires of wood or wax to which we made sacred offerings of rare shells, silver, or gold…before we had a world economy or planetary pandemics, we drew life and sustenance from the same sun and moon–we saw our fates and our inspiration in divergent constellations …

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BECOMING JOY

BECOMING JOY

the buddhist teacher tich nhat hanh taught me to see that we are like clouds–forever evolving and changing from one state to another…always becoming but never, ever, simply becoming nothing…i am filled with exuberance in this moment, witnessing the deepening roots of recovery in my life–witnessing the sacred inspiration into which i align…we must be …

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SUN DRAGON

SUN DRAGON

her voice soars, amplifying the resonance of visceral blood memories–echoes of primordial pleasure emerging to coat our writhing bodies in glistening sweat–echoes of days gone by when a woman pleasuring herself in a shower would have felt dirty and unclean…she is a sun dragon–a divine spirit channeling the reverberations of celestial energy into our dimension…her …

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NOTICING

NOTICING

my god is in the noticing–noticing the moment between when i start to breathe and when i feel the first rush of air into my lungs…noticing the energy and magic that surrounds us–evident in birds that flock and fungi who thrive on the toxins leached by other forms of life…noticing the beauty of an incisive …

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MEDITATION ON HUMILITY

MEDITATION ON HUMILITY

its hard to be humble when the energy and adrenaline of an action are racing through my veins–hard when my brain’s potent dopamine clinic is flying high on overdrive…its hard to be humble when visions of fractals or sacred geometry meet my eyes–leaving me feeling particularly empowered to participate in crafting a transformed future…it is …

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GRATITUDE

GRATITUDE

  I am always looking for magic–seeking the dilation of time, the deepest enunciation of truth, the most exquisite attenuation of the dancer’s fierce extension…I am grateful for all of these moments–grateful for the magic of the moon and the sun…I am grateful for the serenity of silence and I anticipate the ecstatic magic yet …

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GESTATION: diary of a shadow worker

GESTATION: diary of a shadow worker

I want to write about who I am becoming—and about what I am leaving behind…I want to write about the web we are weaving to save the air we are breathing with the power of our minds…I am a shadow worker in gestation—seeing the cracks through which liberation comes…pouring libations and releasing incantations to channel …

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PROPHYLACTIC RESILIENCE: a COVID communique

PROPHYLACTIC RESILIENCE: a COVID communique

so its official—we are now the epicenter of this global pandemic…and we aren’t yet managing to even test everyone with symptoms…this is all likely to get exponentially worse before it gets any better—leaders of color have plowed the ground building networks for mutual aid and resistance—prefiguring the faintly visible outlines of a transformed society amidst …

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PLANETARY ASCENSION: a viral manifesto

PLANETARY ASCENSION: a viral manifesto

this is not a drill—COVID circumnavigates our globe in tandem with the relative scale of contemporary social dysfunction…this is a moment for what is to be done—a moment for protection from this infection: for connection and introspection…this is a moment that calls for all of us to breathe—and look out for each other—and again, not …

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PERDIDO

PERDIDO

I feel alone–so painfully alone… Lost in a fog of fear, profound remorse, and omnipresent anxiety… My mind has been locked in a vicious cycle of FIGHT, FLIGHT, or FREEZE–a cycle only broken by cathartic tears of pain… I have been confronted in retrograde by a new landscape of harm–this both tortures my conscience and …

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SACRED HIGH

SACRED HIGH

living in luminous sobriety is its own sacred high–we must craft a healing revolution to sanctify our hearts and minds…the oxygen, dopamine, and adrenaline make me wild and super fly–i am done being a spice junkie constantly lost in the ebb and flow of time…i saw visceral visions as i navigated the hypomanic psychotropic plane–i …

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TURBULENCE

TURBULENCE

In this moment, I am a hot mess of regret, anxiety, and desire With boundaries collapsed I don’t know how to recompartmentalize I don’t know what to think or believe about my inner self I struggle alone at night: mourning the passing of a dearly held aspiration But I don’t want to be a slave …

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PHANTASMA

PHANTASMA

our eyes lock in the dark and i try to draw you in–we touch heart to heart, soul to soul, and skin to skin…this is an erotic duet whose seismic rhythms we begin–this is succulent and euphoric, but some among us would call it a sin…we are the red mafia’s go-go boys–we are the security …

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EROTIC REVELATION

EROTIC REVELATION

pleasure is so DAMN powerful…it arms us to sustain ourselves in resilience and to resist acquiescing to systemic oppression–we aspire to liberation and seek truth in divine lessons…we aspire to build fortresses of healing across our polarized nation…when i see a body, mind, and spirit to lust for, all of my neurochemistry goes wild–i yearn …

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PRINCE OF FIRE

PRINCE OF FIRE

i feel you in my blood as it permeates my veins–i feel your jedi mind as it bends the psychotropic plane…we rise up for liberation determined to break the chains–we must fight to heal our traumas and set fire to historic pain…you are my prince of fire and i feel you deep inside–our worlds have …

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TRANSCENDENT SUBATOMIC EROTICA

TRANSCENDENT SUBATOMIC EROTICA

so seductive and luscious, you tempt me with desire–love reverberates through me like a subatomic supernatural fire…the suggestive curves of your body inspire my mind to rise up higher–we must live from an emergent place of abundance that lets our gestating spirits rewire…erotic power energizes our struggles helping to crack the matrix code–we rise up …

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RADIANT ROOTS

RADIANT ROOTS

i imagine myself bathed in light–or held in a luxurious and potent embrace…i imagine myself protected by a force field from the terrifying vicissitudes of late stage proto-fascist capitalism–protected by the love of my pixie from the major and minor terrors of our world…its been a difficult few months, but i have grown stronger in …

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NOT SO SIMPLE

NOT SO SIMPLE

i love the simple things–your breath on my neck and your voice in my head…you are a blessing and a miracle–i feel your pulse deep inside and i hold your image close to my my heart simple yet not so simple…breath on my neck settles softly like magic dust…brief eye contact is a tumble into …

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