manic zen

41 posts

Letter to Ahmed

You were a pillar of my life For more than twelve years   Your conviction was contagious Your energy visceral Your power of persuasion electric and magnetic   Now that you have passed I feel a painful absence Aching like an excised limb This transformative project of ours unfinished   […]

TIME DILATION

Your shrouded torso A portal in time Erotic fire writhes Deep inside our minds   You are cocooned in light Living in the moment Evoking infinity Evoking temporal chemistry   Chronology is a variable Time moves slow Then moves fast Sinking roots in the moment Summons powers that last   […]

FIERCE AND FEROCIOUS

You are wired with the fire of leather Magnifying desire with the rhythms of pleasure Visceral synergy brings our worlds together Projecting electricity too potent to measure   Manifesting as Hephaestus you forge volcanic Crafting sacred talismans—reimagining the orgasmic Grinding to leather anthems both raw and ecstatic Transforming my spirit […]

WILDFIRE

I feel power Seismic power Epic tantric forces Morphing and transforming Molding sacred hours   I danced tonight Spirit moved Finding grooves Animating vulnerability Amplifying sensuality   My journey is cosmic I channel potent spiritual energy   Transmuting manic chaos Creating introspection Liberated from psychic wildfire   I feel prophecy […]

NEURODIVERGENT

What if my evolving diagnosis Is so much more than pathology? What if it’s not illness? What if its capacity?   I feel these burning questions Reverberating karmically I feel the power of empathy Fractals of neurodivergent chemistry   Fierce oscillations of mood Can leave me exhausted and dry But […]

CLEAN DATE: a bypo journal

February 26th Is just a date A marker in time An outpost amidst psychic wildlings   For me it is my clean date Today—my two year anniversary Two years without drugs, including alcohol Two years of recovery Two years of spiritual growth   The valence of my mental oscillations is […]

KARMA CAMOUFLAGE

I am a zygote of liberation camouflaged as pathology I am a tantric mystic camouflaged as debauchery Future soldiers in formation as far as the eye can see Decentralized transformation realizes sacred prophecy   This is an erotic anthem crying out for insurrection I am a suicide survivor amidst spiritual […]

TRAUMA SURVIVORS ANONYMOUS: a bypo journal

I sit by the water—I came here to write….The river ebbs and flows and pulsates with energy…It reverberates with the power to sustain life and the power to take it… I came to write about my mind—to write about the social construct known as bipolar disorder…This diagnosis has been an […]

TRUST MUSCLE: a journal entry

This is my chosen place to write—it is close to my heart: my trust muscle…I sit at the convergence of two rivers and marvel at the magic of the water’s constant motion—maybe this is a metaphor I seek energy from the intricate swirls of wood composing the wharf like so […]

TRIPTYCH OF SALVATION

Lips combine while souls rewire Pleasure molds a sacred pyre Tantric power deep inside Writhes and climbs right up the spine   Leather bound and heaven sent This triptych manifests as sacrament The sacred dance of beautiful men Erotic power fused with manic zen   We celebrate bodies in every […]

SACRED EYE

I am evolving and deepening my awareness… With the shackles of addiction in remission I live in gratitude and in joy… I live on the manic depressive spectrum—tending towards states of hypomania and mania… Eliminating the toxicity of substances of abuse has helped me stabilize, but the powers within that […]

MAGNETIC WATER

It was my first night on the psych ward…I submerged the Bible in the toilet—imagining that I would recreate the sacred text over the course of my stay…I imagined that the water would unearth messages and channel symbols not visible to the naked eye… Floridly manic and coming down from […]

TRUTH SERUM: a journal entry

Last night, the moon communed with Jupiter—someone told me to ask for what I want because I just might get it…with synapses firing at speeds faster than light, I asked for insight and foresight—I asked for knowledge of my noble purpose… today, I had a soul to soul convergence with […]

TANTRIC UNDERGROUND

our vixens and our hustlers conjure epic supernatural sentience we deduce spiritual principles from the fulcrum of our collective experience erotic anthems seduce the mind arming us with tantric prescience erotic armadas patrol the scintillating seas of magical dialectical consciousness   we conspire and inspire to build a global tantric […]

CYBERPUNK DIASPORA

dancers stomp, twist, and writhe—giving voice to desires pent up deep inside…we long to rise as one and mobilize—our subaltern armies will rule the night… our democracy is plagued and under siege—we need cyberpunk power to keep the peace…nazis and fascists will come rolling deep—but our samurai neurodivergents have a […]

URGENCY

manic zen from deep within fusing sin with oxygen–possibilities writhe and morph revealing potent visions usually accessed psychedelically…i have seen vivid fractals unfolding before my closed eyes…i have felt tantric erotic power erupting deep inside… in this wretched moment civilization is at stake–but i am removed from the world of […]

PSYCHEDELIC JESUS

light and sound become energized and fused into one–we see fractals in the moon and volcanic power in the sun…psychedelic synergy has transformed who we are and what we can become–we project universal liberation as the cosmic project that is to be done…i have learned that i do not need […]

KARMIC TRANSITION

i have tried to cry for days, just feeling that grief is the right feeling to feel–emotive songs have helped me choke up for protracted moments, but again and again the feelings pass and my mind clears…i wonder why i am not more ground down by this–why i am not […]

EROTIC AND PLATONIC

Our vibe is subtle, electric, and wild Your warmth is deeply attractive and your charms make me smile You are an ancient people’s warrior king and a cybernetic genius’ child We are bonded by the related demons that teem within our minds We have shared common struggles and bared vulnerable […]

CYLON CYPHER

we write in code, with data entombed, in tunnels of platinum and tunnels of gold…my river remolds the depths of your soul, conjuring a sacred passion that grows hot and bold…this cypher we craft conjures cylon futures, where the contours of AI will meld with our nature—this arabic script describes […]

SACRED GEOMETRY: the architecture of perfection

i feel fucking perfect–animated by a precise balance between intoxication and sobriety…the sinuous sacred geometry of the immense creativity permeating this space keeps my imagination firing on all cylinders…is it emergent strategy in all its nuance and potency?  is it love and comradery and the fellowship of movement building?  i […]

UNSTUCK

For most of this year I’ve been struggling—never depressed really…just navigating the waters of harm and accountability—and groping for my most indigenous sense of purpose and direction…for most of this year, I have also lived under my parents’ wing…we have processed feelings, worked on communication, and grown, but it has […]

GENESIS

  I am a student of my own evolving mind—I am a student of the ebb and flow of time…I dream of a future where all of our roots intertwine—I dream of vistas of synergy between the erotic and the sublime…this is a genesis story: a mix of the dopest […]

SUPERNATURAL MANIC MAGIC

you see us dance among you, but fail to sense our jedi powers in emergence—we conjure rites of love and liberation aspiring towards an all encompassing transformational resurgence…we sync our bypo minds through the meditative practices of erotic pleasure and service–I can’t choose my apocalypse squad but i can recruit […]

DOMINATE THIS LOVE

slap me across the face while we vogue in this non-binary place…life is a journey but never a race—we thrive in community, in love, and in grace…hold me down and tell me you love me—i want to see your entrancing eyes above me…this penetration is so potent you don’t need […]

BLACK GEISHA: a crunk riff on reinvention and liberation

I want to write a poem that is expansive, EXPLOSIVE, and transformational… I want to write an homage to the fierce and flawless trans sisters evolving into warrior goddesses empowered to usher in a new age of sexual liberation… Sex work is one of humanity’s oldest occupations and it has […]